Higher Workplace Productivity In 3 Easy Steps

Let’s see he-AH. Away Missions, Warp Core Maintenance, Photon Torpedo Installation… When’s My Earl Grey on Risa 3? What Do You Know Anyway? You’re Just a Chai-AH.


Productivity can be so elusive. These days we are so hampered by tasks piling up and gritty details competing for our time that it is difficult to improve.

What if there were 3 simple ways to increase productivity at work? Guess what: there are.

  1. Let Your Day Run You

It seems counter to all the hullabaloo about showing up on time and working a prescribed set of hours, but sometimes you should just throw away the daily schedule in favor of a more elastic workflow. Forget about the nine-to-five or the traditional 8 hour day at the office.

Does anybody really know what time it is? In space?


Don’t be fooled about the value of showing up at some ghastly early hour for work. If you show up at 11am versus 6am there is no difference between your productivity at work. You can pretend that you’ve accomplished something for getting up so early, but in Japan’s time zone, you’re up late anyway. Sorry to burst your bubble. Forget about the artificial virtues of getting up early and only staying at work for a prescribed set of hours. The truth is, if you can get the work done, that is all that matters.

Flexibility is key. Make sure you are getting the right hour balance for you and your workforce. Give people whatever schedule they want and they will reward you. In scheduling, you truly get what you give.

  1. Cubefarms are Out-Dated

Cubicles, really? You are so two-thousand-and-late.

If you’re still vying for the cubicles of yesteryear, you need to get your head checked. Those things breed loneliness and mental illness. The uninspiring grey walls are surely the agents of mass depression and employee dissatisfaction. Not to mention deflated morale.

If you’re looking for privacy, just grab a conference room. Otherwise, enjoy the collaborative advantages of an open-floor-plan workspace.

  1. Dictators Suck
Evil Kirk

Don’t be a dictator. People get a lot more done if they’re motivated at their core rather than by an autocratic megalomaniac.

The days of throwing your influence around like a billy club are over. Big-stick politics are deader than Roosevelt. Just trust people already. If you hired people you can’t trust, then that’s your own fault, ya dumb jerk.

Make sure to get the team involved in decisions. Adding extra brains always has a good end-result. Unless of course you hired a bunch of no-talent scabs and goons. But what does that say about you, ya freak?

Honestly though, the best way to get your people to be productive is to exude an air of productivity yourself. If you’re a manager who frequently complains about lazy employees, maybe you’re just projecting. Perhaps you are but a pea-brained nincompoop who expresses his/her self-loathing on your underlings because you have an underdeveloped super-ego. I don’t know, I’m not Freud. But it’s obvious you need help.

Sorry for my demeanor in this section, I have been most illogical in light of recent events. The world at large suffered a massive loss of logic on Friday.

I hope you are able to quadruple your productivity from these three simple ways I have outlined.

Live long. And prosper. \v/

RIP Leonard Nimoy

R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy and Mr. Spock: The poster-boy for productivity and logical managerial practice.

Don't stop now. Keep reading!

Share via
Copy link
Powered by Social Snap